Wednesday, February 22, 2012

Textiquette... Tips for Texting Those Strange Creatures Called Men

A former colleague of mine (lets just call him Skywalker to protect his identity) recently jumped at the chance to be my personal dating consultant. As men are such a strange species, I was very interested to get some of his inside insight into the male mind. This all came about after I asked for Skywalker's advice on a text I had drafted to a guy I met in a bar (yes in the real world!). 

Original Text
Hi Frank,
It was good to meet you on Friday. I’d like to have a drink or dinner sometime if the offer is still there.
Gracie Lou

Skywalker Version
Hey sir,
Enjoyed meeting you at the Ivy on Friday! So, when are we doing dinner and drinks? ;)
Gracie Lou

How to pull a man:

1.  ALWAYS ask a question. It will prompt him to reply. Your original draft contained no real incentive for him to reply. If he texts back….ask him another question. Keeps the conversation going.

2. Never underestimate the power of a winky face. It shows the guy that you’re fun, and unlikely to be completely frigid. Appealing.

3)    ‘Hi Frank’ is boring. It’s too early for pet names (sweetie, darling, honey-cakes)…but try something simple like ‘sir’,  or ‘Mr Frank’ (playful, more formal)

4)    Adding an exclamation mark. Loosens you up and makes the message sound less nervous.

5)     “If the offer is still there” gives him the chance to rescind on the offer. Be blunt. Ask the question. Also, your original text insinuates that he’d be taking you out (and paying). No. Be confident. Say… "When are we going out?" Or if you’re ballsy enough “When am taking you out for dinner/drinks?”

6)    Not drink or dinner. Dinner AND drinks.

7)    Note that ‘drinks’ is plural. Shows that you’re willing to have more than one…and you know what happens when a girl gets tipsy. Sounds shallow…but hey, that’s what’s going on in a guy’s mind.

8)    Send the text at night. It’s much more appealing for you to be a night time girl than a day time girl. Who REALLY feels sexy during the day? If you send it at night (after dinner) he’s more likely to be reading the message after work (when he’s relaxed, happier) than during the day, when he might be distracted by work pressures.

9)    Send it TONIGHT. Wait any longer and it’s too long.

So I took Skywalker's advice and sent the revised text. Like magic, I got a response. And like the girl I am, I got excited and wrote back straight away without consulting Skywalker. And got no response. Clearly I can't be trusted to handle my love affairs alone :-(

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