Thursday, February 2, 2012

Man-Dating MasterClass - Creating a Winning eDating Profile

If you are anything like me, you have been anti online dating for quite a while now. It is for desperados, old people, and crazy cat ladies right? 
Except that when you think about it logically, if you were going to meet someone special through the usual channels, you probably would have already. 
On top of this, the current icy Sydney winter (formerly known as summer)has left you thinking that it would be kind of nice to have someone to keep you warm at night.
Then your sister tells you a story of that amazing happy couple who met online, and you have no excuses left.
You reluctantly decide to jump on the bandwagon and succumb to those two evil, taboo words: Online Dating.
Don't worry, I won't tell your mates.
If love is a battlefield, then online dating is MineSweeper - one wrong move and you get wiped out. 
On behalf of the women of Sydney, here are my tips on how to increase your chances of getting to the new second base - the first date.

The Photos
As a wise man once said, first impressions count. We want to see photos that give us a good idea of what you look like, and show you enjoying your life. 
My favourite combination is one clear head shot, body shot and action shot. The below photos will guarantee I will shut you down before you will ever find out what my favourite drink is.

1. Self Shot - The type where you are holding your iPhone camera and are gazing into the bathroom mirror. This will make us think no-one has ever deemed you worthy of taking a photo of. Or that you never leave the house. And this means we are not going to date you.

2. Sans Photo - If you have no photos (or locked, blurry or pixelated photos) we will be suspicious that you are hiding something. Men that are good at hiding stuff are commonly referred to as 'cheaters', and therefore we won't date you. 

3. Shirts Off - Extra minus points for these photos. Either we will brand you a tosser because you think you are hot, or we will date you purely because you are hot.

4. Posers - Don't post your soft light modelling shots. These mean you are full of yourself. Ditto for the'head resting on the fist, deep in thought' shot or one where you are doing the peace sign.

5. Sneaky Lady - Those photos where a lady has been not quite cropped out. This will not do you any favours. Sure, she might be your sister, but she could also be your ex and we don't want your baggage.

The anchorman quotes have been done before, believe it or not. If you can't spell that also means we don't want to date you. Think of something original and funny and we will be yours forever (or for a night, whatever you prefer).

Profile Description
Just as you men hate false advertising (think chicken fillets, excessive make up etc) so do the ladies. If you are 175cm tall, don't call it 180cm. If you are overweight, don't select your body type as 'athletic'.

Your profile is not the place to detail what you are looking for in a relationship, because we will wonder what's in it for us, and gives us no idea of who you are.

Don't write comments like "I'm new to this, I dont know what to write", or "I don't like talking about myself". The whole point is for us to learn a little about each other, so grow some balls and write about yourself. If you genuinely have nothing interesting to say then you probably have more important things to worry about than finding a lady friend.

This concludes MasterClass #1 - Good luck!

1 comment:

Leigh said...

Well Done Gracie.
Can't wait for more!